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Tron

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With the special effect spectacle 'Tron Legacy' coming out, I had to take it upon myself to watch 1982's 'Tron' in an effort to play catch-up. The Dude himself, Jeff Bridges, plays a computer hacker named Kevin Flynn. He came up with the ideas for several video games which were stolen by a programmer named Ed Dillinger, who ultimately locks Lynn out of the system and reaps the benefits as Flynn ends up opening his own arcade featuring the games that are rightfully his. Over the years leading up to the storyline of this initial film, Flynn has been trying to hack the ENCOM mainframe, but his program called Clu (programs look just like their users, but run around inside the computer) is captured by Moses from 'South Park'... I mean, the 'Master Control Program'... With Dillinger's authorization, the MCP shuts down access to the security group Flynn is using, which also locks out another ENCOM employee, Alan Bradley. Alan speaks to Dillinger and reveals that he is working on a security program called 'Tron', which would monitor the MCP's communications with the outside world. But in the meantime, Alan and his girlfriend Lara go to warn Flynn that he is being noticed, but Flynn talks them into breaking into the ENCOM building's laser lab and hacking in that way. While Flynn is hacking, the MCP ends up capturing Flynn and sucking him into the computer world where he is forced to participate in gladiator-like games. *sigh* okay, that's the best summary for the set-up I've got. What follows is a fun, computer animated (yeah, that's right, think what that would look like in '82) adventure. I have to say, this is my first time seeing it, and much like with something like 'Clash of the Titans', the effects looked horrible, but you have to think for the time that they were pretty epic. I mean, Imagine how far CG will come 28 years from now. The story was pretty hard to follow, so I admittedly had to refer to Wiki and IMDB to figure it all out. But it all came together. It would be worth watching again just knowing what I know now. I have to say, I really wanna watch 'Tron Legacy' now, as there is now such better technology to show the computer world. But as for this, as impressive as the effects may have been for '82, I can't quite rave about it. It was really just a catch up for me than a thoroughly entertaining ride.
Final Rating: 3/5

Sleepwalkers (Requested)

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If there was ever a movie that put horror icons to shame, it has to be this one. Stephen King, you are awesome, but what in God’s name did you do here? You wrote ‘Pet Semetary’ and it was great, but you wrote this and it was just awful! Meanwhile, Tobe Hooper and Clive Barker are also featured as forensic techs, likely as an excuse to get the chance to work with Stephen King. The film features these part cat part human creatures called “sleepwalkers” who feed on the souls of virgin girls for sustenance. Sounds kinda cool actually, but they are also scared shitless of cats which is never actually explained, and are seemingly really into incest. The film’s plot generally goes around a teen sleepwalker boy who is after the soul of a virgin girl he just met in order to feed his starving mother. The rest is pretty much bad action where stabbing someone with a cob of corn is entirely realistic along with super bullets that can blow up cop cars with one shot! The acting here is really bad as well. Oh and about the first 15-20 minutes involves dancing around. Can you say “filler”? To top everything off on my hatred for this movie, is the fact that it shows cats getting slaughtered. Death to dogs or cats is just something I don’t enjoy watching on a personal level, especially when we see a bunch of them right at the beginning hanging and having been gutted and torn apart. It’s right up there with rape or severe torture for me; I just don't need to see it. There was however one incredibly funny cat death that involved a cat hanging off the back of the mother sleepwalker and getting blown away. If you see the film for anything, just seriously skip to that scene. Otherwise, there are much better Stephen King movies you can see!
Final Rating: 1/5 

Toy Story 2

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Woody, Buzz and the gang are back for more in a sequel that takes place a couple/few years later. This time around the 'bad guy' concept is a slimy toy collector named Al who's obsessed with 'Woody's Roundup', the old TV show Woody was modeled after without his knowledge of it. Through a series of events, Woody is stolen and brought to Al's home where he meets the rest of the 'Round Up' gang and gains knowledge of his origin. Meanwhile our favorite old toys from #1; Buzz, Slinky, Mr. Potato Head, Rex and Ham go on a search to find their missing pal. It all boils down to a choice in the end for Woody, and whether he's found home, or whether he needs to return home. Invoking new concepts, and a couple of new characters including Barbie and Buzz's arch nemesis Zerg, Toy Story 2 is great fun all the way through but even manages to connect on a somewhat deeper level as the first when we learn about abandonment and the possibility of moving on, and actually get our heartstrings played with this time around.
Final Rating: 5/5

Toy Story

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Andy, a 6-year-old boy, has a pretty cool set of toys that includes his very favorite among them, a pull-string-talking cowboy named Woody. We learn that these toys everyone owns are able to get up and walk and talk when we're not in sight. For his 6th birthday, Andy is given a fancy new gizmo and gadget action figure called Buzz Lightyear who seems to manage to replace Woody as Andy's favorite toy, but Buzz is also under the impression that he's the real Buzz Lightyear. Through a series of events, Woody and Buzz get themselves lost outside of Andy's house and have to find their way back home, but not before getting found by Sid, a local boy who delights in torturing toys, blowing them up etc. Being the first fully CG'd film ever made, it was a pretty mind-blowing thing at the time in '95. That concept alone, mixed with the plot and characters within the plot end up being very strong in that anyone can relate to them. We've all had our favorite toys, we've all had that jerk we knew who liked to mess toys up one way or another, but we've also probably all been jealous of a "new arrival", so we can relate to both the people and the toys in this film quite easily. The overall film is brilliant from start to finish.
Final Rating: 5/5

His Name Was Jason: 30 Years of Friday the 13th

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Director Daniel Ferrands ('Halloween: The Curse of Michael Myers' and 'Never Sleep Again: The Elm Street Legacy') and host Tom Savini (special makeup effects wizard behind 'Friday the 13th' and 'Friday the 13th: The Final Chapter) take you on a tour throughout a Universal Studios attraction of a mock-up of Camp Crystal Lake, and have interviews with many of the cast and crew of the original franchise from 'Friday the 13th' up to 'Freddy vs Jason'. Interviews with various other directors and journalists are also included as they offer opinions on each of the films. Some not so positive, but most great. With about an hour and a half of material, it kind of speeds through things a bit unlike with 'The Elm Street Legacy' which lasts 4 hours and is extremely thorough. But this documentary isn't without it's charm, and there is a lot that we learn that we never knew about the series before. Much like 'The Elm Street Legacy', this also ends with clips of the cast members quoting their original lines, and managed to put a smile on my face again. Gladly, we can't say one documentary copied the other, seeing as the same director worked on both. Also, luckily, the Jason fans aren't left without bonus features on a second disc which include extended interviews with the directors and screenwriters, a Camp Crystal Lake survivor guide, a variety of fan films and a lot more.
Final Rating: 5/5

Friday the 13th ('09)

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Okay, well, for those of you who haven't heard a lot of our podcasts, I must admit that this film managed to secure a rather cozy spot on my list of guilty pleasures. I love it. The movie is a giant shout out to the original series, and they manage to tie in the first three movies of the franchise together quite well between the murder of Jason's mother, Jason coming back rockin' a potato sack, and Jason getting his hockey mask. This film is a lot of fun for fans who are similar to me who just like to cheer on Jason and his body count, and don't mind seeing every stereotype of the original franchise get met. The jock, the druggie, the bimbo, the girl next door etc. Plot-wise however, it kind of lacks, having Jason hold this girl who reminds him of his mother captive instead of just offing her which is what we'd most like to see. It is, in every regard, a bad movie. But it's almost one of those movies that's so bad that it's good and unlike many, it managed to make my top 10 list of favorites for 2009. Not many would agree with me on this at all, I can admit, but:
Final Rating: 5/5

RocknRolla (Requested)

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In the tradition of movies like 'Lock Stock & Two Smoking Barrels' and 'Snatch', Guy Ritchie returns to deliver that style once again. This one is the story of Lenny Cole, a London mob boss who is busy hammering down on local real estate transactions. He ends up helping out a Russian developer named Uri Omovich for substantial fees. As a gesture of good faith, Uri lends his "lucky painting" to Lenny, a valuable one at that. Soon enough, the painting is stolen right under Lenny's nose. His dependable men, led by Archie, head out to find the painting. Meanwhile, three petty criminals known as The Wild Bunch end up stealing money from the Russian using inside info from his accountant, Stella. The third plot involves a drugged out 'RocknRolla' named Johnny Quid who has been reported dead but is still alive. He has a connection to Lenny which ultimately holds the key to unravelling everything. It starts out very complicated, but the pieces manage to fall into place as soon as you know what's going on. Much like his other movies, there is confusion to it, so you might wanna see it again at some point to get more out of it, but it also has the dark humour of his other films that we love. All in all, not the strongest of Ritchie's films, but decent enough to fit into the group.
Final Rating: 3/5

Never Sleep Again: The Elm Street Legacy

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This isn't ACTUALLY a legitimate request from anyone specific, but I do definitely want to get this out there to the fans of the franchise! So, after doing the 'cast & crew' section for 'Freddy's Boiler Room', I decided to go looking for a documentary that I never knew about, but almost all of the cast and crew of the whole series was in; 'Never Sleep Again: The Elm Street Legacy'. The film itself is an extremely thorough 4 hour documentary that interviews the films' original casts and crews, as it goes from movie to movie in chapters from 'A Nightmare on Elm Street' all the way up to 'Freddy vs Jason'. If that's not enough, there's a ton of extras on disc 2 that include extended interviews, a special feature on Freddy's gloves over the years, expanding the Elm Street Universe as it covers Freddy in comics and novels, an episode of 'Horror's Hallowed Grounds' where host Sean Clark takes you on a journey through Springwood, and it even brings in The Angry Video Game Nerd and his take on Freddy (no, it's not his actual video, but it does show clips). This DVD is pretty hard to come across, but I would deeply encourage anyone who's a Freddy fan to get their hands on one (I used 'amazon.ca'). It's truly epic, well put together, and explores each of the films in good detail. It wraps everything about the old franchise up in an awesome little package with Freddy's claws fraying the ribbon, and there's even commentary on the new 2010 version where you see that most of the cast and crew isn't too big on the idea at all, which is actually somewhat refreshing to know. The closing credits include the cast quoting their old lines from the films, which oddly enough managed to bring a tear to my eye, being the obsessive fan that I am and knowing that the Freddy we all know and love is indeed over forever (movie-wise anyway). This DVD is positively a must-have for any fan of the franchise. I loved every minute of it!
Final Rating: 5.5/5

Smokin' Aces (Requested)

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Want a movie that's just a lot of fun with good dialogue and loaded with action and colourful characters? Go for this one! Once again, I must veer away from other critics when I say I had a great time with this movie. Director Joe Carnahan (of the upcoming 'A-Team') gives us this simple plot in the same overall style as something like 'Lock Stock & Two Smoking Barrels' or 'Snatch', involving a Las Vegas performer who became a snitch named Buddy Israel. He decides to testify against the mob, which leads to one giant hit out on him involving assassins, bounty hunters, thugs for hire etc. Meanwhile, the FBI try to fulfil their chance of using the small-time con to bring down a bigger target named Sparazza by placing Buddy under protective supervision using two agents. With a mass of contrasting characters including a master of disguise, two deadly vixens, three thuggish punk meat-heads, someone who delights in torture, and two FBI agents played by Ryan Reynolds and Ray Liota, Smokin' Aces provides us with a mindless, fun action thriller whose style is right up my alley. One big selling point; the single-scene action sequences look REALLY awesome!
Final Rating: 5/5

Eden Lake (Requested)

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Okay, first let me start off by apologising for this taking so long. We all got kinda side-tracked with stuff and it faded into the background. Anyway, thank you Justin Bokowski for this recommendation, and here is your review. So, we have a couple, Jenny and Steve, who venture to a bed & breakfast to spend some time alone together. Upon a lot of ruckus at this place, Steve promises her a nice vacation, so they drive to Eden Lake to relax on the beach and camp overnight. The day they make it to the beach, they are bothered by some rowdy teens with a loud stereo and a near vicious dog. Upon confronting them, Steve basically lights a fuse, and the teens end up playing a bit too much with them and ruining their vacation by means of theft. Determined to have a good time, Steve confronts them and accidentally stabs their dog in a struggle. From there, it escalates into a great suspense story about survival, and over the top teens who delight in torture both mentally and physically. I found myself enjoying this, and various scenes don't go the typical horror way, for example a scene where Jenny is running, twists her ankle, but doesn't fall and keeps running to survive her ordeal. THANK you for that breath of fresh air! I also just love the idea behind this movie. Out antagonist isn't some masked stalker, or a mysterious monster or alien of some sort, it's a group of your average ever day teenagers, which doesn't sound at all threatening but really, therein lays the real threat for the viewer! It's ultimately disturbing and gripping with a pretty sweet twist ending.
Final Rating: 4.5/5

Troll 2 (Requested)

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... Wow... Okay, so I brought it upon myself. I went into this knowing flat out that it was supposedly one of, if not the worst movie ever made. But you know, part of that was the enjoyment behind it. What is supposed to be a horror film directed by Claudio Fragasso (director of a lot of low-budget horror films) involves a boy who can see his dead grandfather through mirror reflection. His grandfather, Grandpa Seth, tells him about goblins and how they work and that they exist. A family vacation takes place, which includes a boy named Joshua (our "hero"), an overacting mother, a meat-head father, and an extremely controlling sister who throughout the whole movie tries to make her boyfriend choose between her and his friends. Even the father says to get out of the family's life if he can't choose... Dude? Why are you wasting your time with this girl!? Anyway, they just so happen to drive into the goblin's kingdom known as the town of 'Nilbog'... (yeah, not very subtle, I know)... where goblins who take on human form try to feed them green food (which almost always looks like cake icing) which will eventually make them sweat chlorophyll and turn into plants which the goblins then eat. These human-goblins seem to like to give them expired milk too, but we have no idea why. Then we have the goblins themselves which sincerely just look like bad Halloween costumes. Above everything else there's just the... I can't even deny it... the WORST acting I have EVER seen in my LIFE! Not by just one person but the whole cast! But when all said and done, although I know I REALLY should 0.5 this thing, the bad acting, premise, makeup and special effects were entertaining enough that they made me laugh at just how bad they were, and I would watch it again with a group of buddies just to have a good solid laugh. So...
Final Rating: 1/5

Behind the Mask: The Rise of Leslie Vernon (Requested)

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I'm SO thankful to Marc Adams for recommending this film to me! We open up with a news reporter named Taylor who references three major characters of horror as if in her real world. She goes to Elm Street and talks about Freddy Krueger, Crystal Lake and mentions Jason Voorhees, and to Haddonfield where she brings up Michael Myers. Along with her crew of Doug and Todd, she then continues to a small town where she tells the story of Leslie Vernon, a boy who was cast into a river by angry townspeople upon murdering his family, and the twist is that she is there to get the inside scoop of Leslie Vernon who has come back from the dead to wreak havoc and become the next big slasher villain. This film was downright hilarious! Leslie, the psycho killer, is very friendly to the crew and goes through the details of what you need in order to make it all work out. Certain details include your "survival girl", who is the typical virgin who makes it through to the end and ultimately ends up being the villain's match, and your "Ahab", who is someone who will stop at nothing in order to stop the killer from carrying through his plans. In this case, the "Ahab" was played by none other than horror God, Robert Englund. The general documentary-style film carries through to the final battle that takes place inside what is known as Leslie Vernon's old house, and then things take a magnificent twist which I will not spoil for anyone, but it's cool. Stick around through the closing credits as well for a not so surprise twist, but it's cool nonetheless and ultimately makes one root for the villain. It's original, its hilarious, it's scary, it's just flat out awesome. A must see for any horror buff!
Final Rating: 5.5/5

Astro Boy (Requested)

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David Bowers, director of 'Flushed Away', brings us his adaptation of what was the first Japanese TV series that embodied the concept of Anime; 'Astro Boy'. The story revolves around a boy named Toby, who lives with his father Dr. Tenma in the futuristic floating Metro City. Upon Toby getting quite literally killed off, his father uses Toby's DNA, along with positive energy (some kind of blue matter) to make a sophisticated robot to replace him. Soon enough, Tenma decides he doesn't want him, largely because he's now a robot. He's actually quite a jerk about it, because as far as Toby's concerned, he's still just Toby, with his old memories and everything. So you learn to hate Tenma pretty damn quickly. Soon, Toby goes to the 'surface'  (below the floating city) and finds a group of orphans who accept him, along with their father figure, Ham Egg, who specialises in fixing up robots to enter a kind of Gladiator-like competition. Eventually, he earns the nickname Astro. Overall, it was enjoyable enough to play as a kind of nostalgic ride, because I used to love this cartoon growing up. I wish I could remember it more though, because there's really no way of me telling how accurate to the old story this was. As an outsider though, i could see it being a pretty standard story that combines 'Oliver Twist' with 'A.I' almost perfectly. There was one scene that knocked things down badly when Astro Boy fires gatling guns out of his butt, and there's the fact that he only ever got to use his arm cannons once and once only. It lacked from the awesome cartoon I remember, and I was hoping to hear the 'Amazing Astro Boy' theme songs (different between beginning and closing). However, it wasn't without its charm. The voice talent consisted of quite a cast, and the visuals in the action sequences were pretty damn cool. Its not a movie I can take too seriously, and have to take it as the old school cartoon it was trying to be.
Final Rating: 3/5

Hard to Kill (Requested)

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The third and final movie of ‘Seagal Weak’ was again another revenge film all about Seagal being “out for justice” as it were. I may as well have just watched one of these movies and got the same story. The difference was that this was much better. It all startes when some hitmen gun down Mason Storm (Seagal) and his wife and kid. Little do they know that Storm survives, and he ends up in a 7-year coma. Most of the movie involves him hiding and retraining his body to get back into shape so he can seek his revenge. It’s overrated as far as the overall quality of the fight scenes, but it’s a very simple revenge story that is easy enough to follow and actually seems more or less realistic in the way things unfold. When the ending revenge sequence finally comes into play, it’s very well done. To top everything off, there are a few very laughable one-liners said by Seagal. My favorite having to be when corrupt Senator Trent says; “You can take that to the bank!” on TV, followed by Storm saying “I’m gonna take you to the bank, Senator Trent, to the blood bank!” So its overall enjoyment comes from watching a movie full of just about any Seagal stereotype. This is to Seagal as ‘Commando’ is to Schwarzenegger. Call it a guilty pleasure.
Final Rating: 4/5

Half Past Dead (Requested)

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Seagal week’s second movie features him as an undercover FBI agent. After Alcatraz reopens, its first prisoner slated for execution I ready to take a secret to his grave. A secret based around the location of $200 million worth of gold. Enter an invading group of commandos, dead set on getting the location of this fortune from this prisoner before his execution. Seagal, already being undercover, has to neutralize the situation while trying to convince his convict partner played by Ja Rule, and the other inmates to take up arms and fight for the law. I had a fun time with it overall, but there’s a hell of a lot of ‘yeah right’ scenes in it. Consider it a movie that you should see for the sole purpose of watching mindless action on screen. The concept was good but the acting wasn’t all there, save Morris Chestnut as the head villain after this pile of gold. There’s quite a few enjoyable funny moments too, but they also tend to tie in with the ‘yeah-right’ scenery, such as Ja Rule flying out form the passenger seat of a car after it comes to an abrupt halt. Its overall enjoyable if you can be mindless about an action movie, but it’s pretty weak otherwise.
Final Rating: 3.5/5 

Out For Justice (Requested)

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This movie was so hard to enjoy. God knows I tried. Judging by the positive reviews of it, I was expecting a good high octane old school cop action flick. What I got was far from it. I could never expect a Seagal-produced movie to be anything more than a guilty pleasure, but this was terrible. Quite basically, the plot revolves around a guy named Gino (Seagal) whose buddy Bobby gets murdered in cold blood in broad daylight with about a million witnesses, including his wife and two children. The rest of the movie consists of Gino looking for Richie, who he knows is the killer. The dialog is seemingly loaded with pointless story-telling on Gino’s part that has nothing to do with anything. The character development is next to nothing. But while it’s expected to be bad, the fight scenes were downright awful! All it was, was Seagal beating people up while no one could put up a fight, EXCEPT for a short-lived fight involving pool cues against Dan Inosanto, who I read to be ‘Bruce Lee’s #1 student’. THAT scene was awesome, I can’t deny it. As far as the rest of the movie goes though, I guess I just expected more in some way shape or form, namely the action. For the most part, I just plain found it boring and dragged out. And this is coming from a guy who really tends to like revenge films! But seriously, here’s the only good scene from 4:31-4:56: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YMu2xNBpyQc. Otherwise, I really can’t understand what people love so much about this movie.
Final Rating: 1/5

Soul Plane (Requested)

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Here we have a film about a guy who gets injured on a flight while using the bathroom (no joke). He manages to sure the airline for a large sum of money, and with it, opens a new airline called NWA (what it stands for, other than the famous rap group’s meaning, is anybody’s guess). On its maiden voyage, it takes account of different characters and their personalities including a white family called the Hunkees, the airline owner and his ex girlfriend, and the captain of the flight played by none other than Snoop Dogg. There is really no plot at all to this movie. It seemed to be made for the sole purpose of just plain having fun, making it a very simple party movie. It’s nothing I would recommend to anyone unless they are looking for a film they can just have a good time with and cheer them up. It’s full of various secondary players and cameos like Mo’Nique, Method Man, Lil’ John, the Yin-Yang Twins, John Witherspoon and a few more. All in all though, it’s very hard to review this movie because it was so much to do about nothing. I could see it having its own cult following just because it is a movie that does want you to just sit back, have a good time, and not take it seriously. If you go into it with that frame of mind, you will probably have an okay time with it. But overall, as a movie, it just didn’t do too much for me.
Final Rating: 2/5

The Land Before Time (Requested)

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I remember watching this when I was a kid, and it actually plays out just as well now as compared to back then. It’s a wonderful tale of five dinosaur friends who get separated from their families after a huge earthquake hits. Together, they help each other out as they set out in search of ‘The Great Valley’; a place that is still flourishing with plant-life and water. All the while, they must also dodge a T-Rex by the name of Sharp Tooth. This great adventure was directed by Don Bluth and executively produced by Steven Spielberg and George Lucas. Its writers consisted of Judy Freudberg and Tony Geiss, who also did the screenplay and story of ‘An American Tale’, and several Sesame Street episodes. It does a great job of bringing together a group of very different characters who realize their strengths and weaknesses, help each other, and even manage to teach us, the audience several lessons along the way. It’s a true family film that dictates to us as much as adults as when we were kids, the importance of acceptance among different people, lessons about family and friendship, and even certain aspects of survival. I honestly forgot how incredibly good this movie was. It only runs just over an hour long, but they manage to pack it with so much and tell a great story all at the same time. It really brought back a gigantic highlight of my childhood.
Final Rating: 5/5

The Toxic Avenger (Requested)

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This is actually very tough to review. This is one of those movies that was made to try to be bad, and it most definitely has one hell of a cult following. In fact, it has enough of one to manage to make a best-selling musical several years later. It’s also produced by Lloyd Kauffman of Troma video, who is responsible for producing a personal favorite guilty pleasure of mine; ‘Cannibal: The Musical’. So there was no way for me to watch this and expect it to be incredibly box-office good, just cult-classic good. It has its moments that I simply didn’t like, for instance bullies running over a kid on a bike for ‘points’ or the same bullies beating an old lady and stealing her car. I mean, just downright offensive, but you can’t expect more from Troma either. These same bullies end up pulling a really nasty prank on a kid named Melvin, a janitor at a local health spa that everyone seems to hate in some way. The prank caused him to basically run and dive through a window landing in a barrel of toxic waste transforming him into a monster that attacks people who are more or less evil. That’s the movie in a nutshell. I can’t deny there were several parts of it that had me laughing pretty well, especially its attempt at purposely being incredibly cheesy. I can see how it became a cult classic, but at the same time so much of it was just downright offensive. However, as I said, you have to expect these things from Troma.
Final Rating: 3/5

Special Dead (Requested)

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I actually ended up watching this for the second time 'cause I had seen it before a couple of years ago. Back then, the movie had its moments of hilarity, but now it was almost impossible for me to like. Granted, the movie isn't meant to be any kind of big budget blockbuster or anything. But I just can't imagine anyone enjoying it unless their humor is insanely low-brow. The movie focuses on a group of 'special' kids at a camp called 'Camp Special Dude', who, along with a few councilors, get attacked by zombies. The zombies originate in this movie by having a tourettes guy (not THE tourettes guy, mind you) drink some bad water, and it kind of just goes from there. The writer just must have had it in his head to combine two things: 1) a zombie movie, and 2) make it as offensive as possible. Now, I saw a post about this on the net that suggests its trying to be like 'The Ringer'... NO!... 'The Ringer's basic concept is bound to offend a lot of people (a guy fixing the Special Olympics to make money off it) but if you actually watch it, it genuinely teaches you to treat special needs people as equals. This, on the other hand, offers a wide arrange of offenses toward special people calling them "retard" constantly, the one black character in it is a criminal and can't find north on a map, it strongly demeans women by having a supposedly bad-ass male lead (who by the way has NOTHING on Ash!) who both the female councilors constantly fight over due to their weaknesses for him, and its just not really good for anyone. I believe I've kind of actually grown out of such humor since I found this to have its moments the first time through but now just watched with a vacant expression with maybe a grin here or there. Another thing that made me actually consistently fast forward this thing were a few of the action sequences where things just did NOT let up! The scenes, I just couldn't take them! There are no big names to be mentioned in this film, thank God. So with everything so bad and wrong about this movie, its not that big a deal. Who knows if the makers of this could get off the ground and make something actually good. Some of the practical effects were actually okay, but thats about all I've got. If my friend I reviewed this for has anything else he wants me to review, or anyone has anything for me, just curious of how I'll react to it, I'm open to suggestions. But for this...
Final Rating: 0.5/5
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